One Month Is Just Not Enough...

I awoke this morning with a very heavy feeling in my heart. I got out of my mosquitoes net for the very last time and changed into my Tzu Chi uniform. I continue to pack the last few things that I still had laid out on the tables and floors. The luggage is a lot less and a lot lighter than when I came, due to the fact that I am without four big tents. All four tents have gone to Haitian families here, so I am very happy about that. I said goodbye to my room that I have been staying in for the past month and locked the door. Room #5 you have treated me well, we shall meet again one day.

I went into the computer room and doubled checked for any other things that I have forgotten to pack…nothing was in sight that I recognized as mine. I pulled out my laptop and connected to the net to write my last report in Haiti. Just as I start to write my entries, a Si Guo came in and said, “Want to have some breakfast?” So we went and had some breakfast together and had some last few words to each other. I went outside afterward to try to distribute all the letters I had written last night for all the drivers, whom all have become like my big brothers. To my disappointment, only Phillp was present to receive the envelopes. I realized that everyone was at the Stadium for the distribution, so I was not going to be able to say goodbye to all of them. I was quite sad at the time, but at the same time relieved because I knew this was an easier way to leave than hugging each one of them. I went back to continue writing my report. Around 10:35am I heard cars outside pulled in, one after another, I ran outside and to my surprise, three of the drivers had returned. They came bearing gifts in their hands to presented it to me. I was so touched. The person that I most wanted to see was Jacques…he is the eldest out of all the drivers and whom I have a deeper connection with. He put an Haitian necklace on my neck and gave me a box wrapped with newspaper. I opened it and it was cologne. I looked at him puzzled and he smiled. Then it finally clicked! This was his cologne. He told me that I can spray a little each day to remind me of him. Peter gave me a Tap Tap wall decoration, so I will always remember Tap Taps when I get back home. It was very beautiful. I gave them all hugs and told them I loved them all. We were running late and I quickly grabbed my bags to head to the airport. When I was getting in the car, I saw Jacques in the corner of my eyes and I dropped everything to run to him. I hugged him with tears streaming down my face. He told me not to worry and that we shall meet again. He said, “I love you girl” in English and smiled. He had tears in his eyes and made his infamous “Ahhhhhh” and gave me a giant scrub on the head, messing up my hair completely. I am going to miss him doing that.

The ride to the airport was way too short today, even with the traffic made by Bush and Clinton’s visit. The wait at the airport was long but smooth. I waited with two other Si Guos at the AA terminal. They said it was like saying goodbye to a daughter. I walked down the terminal halls and sat on the plane. The view overlooking Haiti looked so familiar. I couldn’t hold back the tears.

Haiti I am going to miss you very much. I hope to return very soon. Thank you for showing me such a wonderful part of the country and for introducing me to your people and way of life. One month has passed by way too quickly. Jum Jum (everything is good in Creole). I will miss your smiling faces and your endearing way of saying hellos. Your laughter filled kitchens, discussing over that day's menus. The way your arms and backs arch over the chairs when you are taking a quick afternoon nap. The way the sun rises after a night full of flash floods, as if saying, new hope is upon us, go out and enjoy the day. The children running down the narrow sidewalks waving a goodbye and a kiss. The women with their baskets and buckets securely standing atop their heads with the occasional reinforcements of a hand. The trucks stuck on the side of the roads just waiting for someone to come by and help them push across the meridian. The crumbled building still carries the cries of the unseen and unheard from below. The dust comes and goes in a swoosh so fast a breathe can barely hold. The elderly, the newborns, and the ones barely hanging on. The mass distributions, the lines that stretches across miles, the military presences, and the trash lining the roads. Good or bad, you can decide for yourself. To me, they all represent Haiti, and they are all the things that I am going to miss the most. It is a package deal. It is like Christmas morning, when I open a surprised gift. That is the feeling I get every time I think about Haiti. It is a country filled with surprises and with the people, language, and culture, its greatest treasures.

Flying high in the skies, slowly the mountains and tent cities disappearing before my eyes. Even though I can no longer see the images, I can still feel the people buzzing about in the city markets and exchanging hellos across tap taps…

I will see you soon Haiti! This I promise you.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SuWTZHRXxzo